Category Archives: Humor

Top Five Pleasurable Activities You Can Do With Your Clothes On

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Photo by Maksim Romashkin on Pexels.com

Presented in reverse order of course. Your top five may vary.

5) Smoke a good cigar

I’m not talking about gas station cigars, but ones that are really good. Some say that the Cuban cigar is the best. I have to disagree with that. I had one Cuban cigar when I went to Columbia, South America. Truth be told, I liked the Columbian cigars a lot better. Cuban cigars are overhyped due to the embargo on Cuban goods. Of course, some may say that you need a good brandy to go along with the cigar, but I think it is pretentious. I’ve had good brandy back in the days of my drinking, but wasn’t impressed. A simple fresh cigar that is hand rolled with exquisite tobacco leaves is hard to beat.

4) Eating a big slice of Triple Chocolate Cake

Oh the decadence! The pure richness paired with the deliciousness of not one, not two, but three types of chocolates. The sweetness combined with the texture of cake and frosting is simply wonderful. With a little dollop of vanilla ice cream beside the cake makes it even better. I’ve been known to swoon after eating this.

3) Walking on the beach with your loved one.

Walking hand in hand, listening to the sound of waves breaking on the shore with the cool feeling of damp sand beneath your bare feet. The ocean breeze wafting your hair this way and that. Knowing that you are experiencing this with your loved one is an intimate way of connecting with each other.

2) Eating Donuts

The inventor of donuts should be given a Nobel prize. I’m partial to jelly filled donuts and creme-filled Eclairs. But hands down, the absolute best is the simple glazed donut. When they are fresh from the bakery and still hot it is fantastic. Even when they are a couple of days old, just pop them into the microwave for 15 seconds and it brings the freshness right back. With a hot cup of fresh brewed coffee or even a cold glass of milk to wash it down, eating a donut is pure pleasure.

1)Getting your hair washed at the barbershop or hairdresser.

Leaning back in a chair with the back of your neck on a soft cushion while the barber or hairdresser washes, shampoos, rinses and gently massages your head is the most intimate feeling you can get outside of sex. With your eyes closed, it is an almost ethereal feeling. Well worth the extra money you spend when you go to get your hair done. Since I only get my hair cut at the most twice a year, this is something I look forward to experiencing whenever I go.

Sat down to write with no idea what to talk about and the above five popped into my head. Sometimes you just have to roll with your thoughts and hope it comes out coherently.

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Florida, Hurricanes and Power

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For most of the past week, I’ve been living in the cone. What’s that you say? Anyone who has lived in Florida for a while knows that phrase. It’s being in the cone of uncertainty for the path of an oncoming hurricane. For most of the week, here in Jacksonville, we were smack dab in the middle of the cone.

Hurricane Ian was projected to hit Tampa Bay and then traverse the state directly toward Jacksonville. As usual, there was a mad rush to go buy groceries which doesn’t make much sense to me. How you going to cook all that meat when you don’t have power?

On Wednesday at work, we did our usual hurricane preps. Cleaned up the pipe yard and strapped down loose material. That night, the hurricane hit south of Tampa Bay at Fort Myers. Then it continued toward Orlando. At that point, it shifted slightly to the east. This was just enough that when it turned back north, it pretty much missed Jacksonville. The southern part of the county saw heavy rainfall, but the rest of us only saw light rain and mist and windy conditions.

Naturally and it happens every time, the power was knocked out. For this storm, my power was knocked out for about an hour and then would come back on for 1/2 hour, then back off for an hour or so. This continued all day. When the power came on, we would make a mad dash to the kitchen and brew coffee and do some quick cooking.

In case the power remained off for an extended period, we had a propane camping stove. Didn’t have to use it this time.

Every hurricane is a bit different. This one caused massive storm surges and flooded the hell out of Fort Myers. Sharks were swimming in the streets!

In Florida, most of the state is subject to massive damage during a hurricane. Here in Jacksonville, due to geography, it is probably the safest part of Florida for hurricanes. It’s been a long time since Jacksonville was hit directly with a hurricane. I think it was 1954. Are we due for another one? Eh, maybe. Most people here in Jacksonville do our normal preps, but don’t take hurricanes too seriously. Those that are new to the area tend to freak out the first few years.

Thankfully, even though there was massive property damage in Fort Myers and other areas of Florida, the loss of life was minimal. Houses and buildings can be rebuilt.

Saturday Morning Coffee Break

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Had to get my blood drawn this morning. The lab opened at 7 am so I got there a bit early. Apparently not early enough as there already was a line of people waiting. I got ready for a long boring morning of waiting.

Then Dan spoke up. Who is Dan? Dan is obviously on the spectrum. As people arrived to stand in line, he would loudly say, “Hello” and wave. Then he would introduce himself by saying, “My name is Daniel. You can call me Dan.” He would repeat “You can call me Dan” until you said “Hi Dan!”.

The whole mood of everyone there brightened. Instead of a line of strangers standing there silently bemoaning the wasted time, people would talk to each other. Even when the lab opened, everyone had a smile on their face and generally had an enjoyable moment talking with complete strangers.

Even after Dan went in to get his labs done, people continued to be open. When new people walked in, at least someone would greet them and the cycle of just pure enjoyment continued.

You don’t get many moments like this in life and I’m grateful to be a part of it this morning.

“My name is Matt, you can call me Matt!”

Coffee

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A cup of joe, jitter juice, java, morning jolt and go juice are a few of the slang phrases for my favorite beverage.

I like my coffee dark and bitter, just like my soul.

Some choose to dilute the wonderful fragrance and taste of coffee with all sorts of evil and vile substances like milk and sugar.

In the bible, it says that bread is the staff of life.

I say nay, coffee and only coffee is the staff of life.

How else could the Dunkin Donuts guy get up so early in the morning to make donuts?

The challenge? Write a story in 6 sentences, no more & no less, and if you’d like, share your creation or just visit and comment on others’ ideas, with GirlieOnTheEdge, Denise. The prompt is “Coffee”, and here’s where you join the party: Six Sentence Stories